Gotta love the Killers....

Mr. Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never...
I never...
I never...

( amended by a shot out to the lyrics of James Blunt )

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... concussion daymare continuance. A day of pure dizziness and headaches - did not feel comfortable driving anywhere, even to work. Called in and told the office that I'd not be available - and from what I gathered, I didn't miss much. Probably a good thing - the third day of a concussion was all that was to be expected, and a bag of chips.

I slept thru the entire day with nasty daymares and nosebleeds. Woke up only to crawl into the bathroom to take a wizz and grab some more water and advil, swab my nasty frankenstein cut and crawl back into bed. It was a windy day, from what I could hear - the entire place was creaking and whistling with noise - but possibly my acute tenitis.

I finally woke after 7pm and realized that I was alive, with non-dizziness. I took a quick shower and scrubbed all the snot and blood off my body. Decided to drive to the market to get a few things after chugging a Pedialyte and a Red Bull. It was cold as a mo fo - in the 20s. It had been seemingly a few days since I left the house, took out the garbage and sauntered up enuff energy to get my ass in gear. (sheesh, 3 days without cycling would make me nuts)

photo by d. scott gregory Xmess Gift wrapping hell click on photo to enlarge

Went to the market to get a few things with newfound energy to make some soup - I had a pumpkin that my parents gave me last weekend, decided to make more of my pumpkin soup. Stocked upp on the provisions for it that I was missing and then went to town on making the pumpkin soup with the freakish energy stored up. Watched Queen on PBS while prepping the soup - took a while, but multitasked with doing laundry, all bed linens, and finished wrapping the rest of the xmess presents (pictured).

Swabbed my silly "cut" on my forehead and continued on...trying to finish my cookbook this weekend.

I guess life is good.

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December 1st, what a wonderous day. Not.

To sum up, I did a clumsy thing yesterday - I slipped and fell out of my shower head first into the corner of my vanity, almost cracking my skull, creating a nice new 3 inch "part", knocking me unconscious in a pool of blood. Well, suffice to say, I survived - but I spent the day trying to recover and an ER visit resolving in the fact that I have a concussion and a large cut in my idiot head.

photo by d. scott gregory FU Corner of my Bathroom Vanity click on photo to enlarge

photo by d. scott gregory Natural Part, OWCH! click on photo to enlarge

So I give you the cleaned up corner of my vanity (impact was the white corner of the vanity, left of the toilet paper dispenser and just right to my only perfect gesture).

I spent the morning in contact with my office saying that I was not going to be in - I was barely able to stand up, dizzy with an instant headache. Then my neck was all wrenched up from part of the impact. I am such an idiot. I was also experiencing bad tenitis, ringing in my ears and a little blurred vision. I decided not to attempt to drive into work. I then crawled on my hands and knees to the kitchen to stock up on water and "managed" to use the bathroom before crawling into bed. I slept thru a better part of the day, while calling the office for any updates.

Late afternoon I was feeling a little better, but was having a little memory loss from yesterday. A little scary, but a complication from a concussion. I accepted it and continued to rest and then later had a little soup.

I'll be going into the office tomorrow, rain or shine - I cannot stand being in this state. I'll try to recover over the weekend. I already miss my cycling - and I'm a bad patient....i miss being out there riding and the wind thru the lacerations in my hairline....the frosty air, deer eyes caught in the lamps of my Blair Witch Projectness....

Life is Still Good....

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Today has been a horror of a day. I must be the king of bad luck.

I didn't sleep at all last night lamenting over the bullshit at work, and going over and over in my mind how I was going to discuss the whole set of concerns/questions I have about the newly imposed "employee manual" - not to mention I'm still trying to shake off a minor cold that I've had the past few days. I called into the office and said I was not "feeling well on multiple levels" and said I'd be coming into the office before 1pm - they can call if I need to be reached to put out any fires. No calls happenned, so at about 11:30 after a few hours of rest, I went to take a shower and head into the office.

This is when the second bad thing that happenned. After taking my shower, I was stepping out and slipped - falling head first into the corner of my bathroom vanity. I fell down, seeing stars and thought I was going to pass out, I layed down on my bathroom floor and saw blood all over the place. I was like "holy crap, did I crack my skull?" I thought I was losing consciousness, but had the quick thinking to

photo by d. scott gregory Natural Part, OWCH! click on photo to enlarge

unroll a bunch of toilet paper and press it to my forehead. I got up and went over to my sink and looked in the mirror, all I could see was blood. I know head cuts usually cause alot of dramatic blood loss, so I continued to press. I finally took the nerve to remove the improvised dressing and try to wash out the cut and the blood off my face and hair - what a shocker, more blood just oozed out. I went ahead and put my head under the sink with cold water and tried to wash out what I could to assess the situation if I needed to go to the emergency room. I was able to wash out as much and then expose the cut (pictured - a number of hours later, nice "natural part" , owch!). I grabbed some hydrogen peroxide and cleaned the bloody cut and decided that I'd better call the office and let them know I was going to be "a little late" after explaining what stupidity transpired.

I had to lay down to call into the office while try to remain calm, with pressure on with a paper towel and a bag of ice. I decided that I'd wait until the bleeding stopped before I make a decision - and it seemed to slow up. I continued to lay down and then later in the afternoon called the office back - one of my colleagues told me to go to the hospital, worrying that I may have fractured my skull or have a cuncussion. I was hesitant to go, but then decided to - since there's a hospital a few blocks from my house. Suffice to say, I hate hospitals - especially Emergency Rooms.

After an unusually short amount of time waiting, I had a feeling what they were going to do. Clean the laceration, and apply bacitration ointment - the cut didn't seem like it was going to require stitches - just looked real bad. Then a quick head CT to see if there was a fracture, or a cuncussion. That's exactly what happenned (I watch too much ER on tv, ha!)

Well, no stitches and just a minor cuncussion to keep an eye on. I was given a prescription for a mild pain killer and instructions on how to keep the cut clean and things to look for with a cuncussion then I was dishcharged. Oh what fun.

Gee, I did not go on a training ride tonight - I wonder why. What's Ironic is that I've finished 13,499 miles since January, 13 Century rides - all sorts of opportunities for danger, knock on wood - I've been rather careful and fortunate of not getting into a serious accident. People laugh at me because I have a helmet that cost me close to 200 bucks. Then what a fool I am by slipping getting out of the shower and having a head injury. I am a dumbass. Do I need to wear a helmet when I shower? Oy vay!

I'll spend the evening relaxing and recovering from the shitty day I had, maybe watch a litle tv and go to bed early.

I was informed that the office is having a "Happy Hour" tomorrow eve - I said to my colleague who told me this, my response was "happy, my ass". I won't attend.

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Welp...it's been an unusual week at work (gee what's different). Seems that the cowards who tossed the shit in the fan (dropped off the new "employee handbook") have decided to finally pony up and ask why hasn't anyone in the office sign it after almost 2 weeks. Damn cowards. The few in perpetual fear just caved in and signed. I'm one of a few holding out until I get some straight answers as to the new "manual-slash-'contract'" becomes clear before I completely waive all my rights as a sallaried employee. I cannot go into any details, but the tactics of the delivery and the actual content of the new "document" is a complete deal breaker for me (and a few other colleagues). One of the cowards asked me twice today if I have time to talk about my concerns - I said I was too busy to meet (which was true), then an email was sent for me to make a formal meeting tomorrow morning. I'm torn between contacting the State Employment Agency and/or ACLU, consulting legal council or just throwing my hands in the air like I just don't care.

All I know is that I have lost all motivation and respect for the company based on all the recent hijinks of over-the-top demoralization and over-patronizing bullshit. And to pour salt in the wound, ABBA came to me and asked "are you ok?....you seem a little down...is there anything I can do?" I said no, I'm a little stressed. He then said, "Then maybe you should take some time off, you need a break" (to preface this...part of the new "manual" outlines the new "annual leave" policy...a whopping full 10 days annual leave...combined vacation time, sick leave, floating holiday...it's completely ludicrious). Fucker.

It was a windy and unusually warm day for the end of November, I decided to suit up after work and bike thru the wind, rain and tornado warnings in the dark to ward off stress. Fuck them. I biked out to past Leesburg, and decided that the wind and rain was getting dangerous especially when the lightning started. Only did 32 miles total out and back, came back to my car completely soaked. Changed in the parking lot and then drove home to an evening of domestic responsibilities. Oh joy. Turned on the boob tube, unmuch to watch - so I sat for an hour reading a book and drinking tea - damn lesbian that I am.

Tomorrow will be oh such fun (oh joy)...I'm oozing with enthusiasm.

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I'm settling into this work week and the ever changing weather (got up to 66 degrees today). I did a 44 miler tonight after work out to Purcellville and back - it was very pleasant. I counted 6 foxes en route, and 22 deer. Will be raining all day tomorrow, blea - will be at the gym. Paying bills and settling domestic issues meantime.

whatever.

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....life moves on

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