My "Life Is Good" hat is about to take a dirt nap. I got the hat years ago when I was on vacation with my fave Kari girlypoo and happened upon it. The hat has served me well. Thick and thin. Travels....everything from skateboarding mishaps, boat trips, STL airport, sunday morn hangover omlette cooking, and any number of bad hair days. I will send this hat to the proverbial Goodwill grave and order a new one online. Farewell, my dear Life is Good hat.......

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Tomorrow is the first day of Spring. Time to do stuff. The list is long. Longer than the length between my elbow and wrist. Taxes, cleaning, organization.... a new birth of organizational dosmetic bliss. Where to start? Be right back...gotta grab the tax forms and Hefty Bags......

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I've done some crazy things in my life, but I've never been to the Burning Man Festival. Many friends of mine have been - it's supposed to be up there like Sturgis Bike Week, Coney Island, Woodstock, a Survival Research Labs debacle and the Whitney Biennial all rolled into one freakish weeklong anti-diatribe. From what I know about it, it's a freakish event involving 24/7 full on full schenanegans out in the middle of the desert...hundreds of miles from civilization. Anything goes - a gypsy tribe of techno freaks and potchulli wheat grass juice swillers all together to celebrate the Burning Man. It's organized chaos. What is brought in, must be taken home...not even one drywall screw, condom wrapper, beer can or rolling paper left behind. I need to pen into my life calendar to visit this mecca of weirdness.

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Dirtwoman part II

online conversation about "Dirt Woman" with friend:

friend1: yea...dirt woman
friend1: he's this transvestite in Richmond...I've known him since 1986..his name is Donnie
theotherfriend: whats his schtick?
friend1: the gross old drag queen...who is down to earth
friend1: he lives with his adopted mom...this total fag hag
theotherfriend: lol
friend1: he dresses up in all sorts of nasty costumes...and is butt fugly...and huge as a house....struts around in spandex....he's been doin this for 20+ years
theotherfriend: lol
theotherfriend: why the nickname dirtwoman?
friend1: they made a calendar of him back in 1988...it was sorta underground...of he in all of his costumes...it was nasty...his name was dirt woman.....i have one of those original calendars
theotherfriend: lmao
friend1: he used to live down the street from me....on Grace Street...in a skanky shithole place....he would work at this greasy diner on Broad...across from the science museum......and hang out at the Village Cafe...and the 7-ll...you were never sure if he was homeless...
friend1: now he's like a freakshow celebrity
friend1: sad...but cool
theotherfriend: Dirt Woman made a name for herself long ago, when the Block, Richmond’s Main-to-Grace-Street drive-by gay bar, was all the rage. Barbie Q is at the top of her form right now, presiding as Richmond’s drag-bingo diva on Tuesday nights at Cosmopolitan. And for Susan Greenbaum, the formerly well-heeled marketing director who opted to chuck it all and become a musician, the future couldn’t look brighter.
friend1: yep
friend1: that be him

yep, here it is: www.dirtwoman.com (NSFW)

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St. Patricks Day today. Ate dinner with the 'rents (parents) - my mom made the most amazing Corned Beef and Cabbage. I even wore green today. I've never really "celebrated" St. Paddy's Day in the past. This morning, I listened to DC101 radio on my way into work...they were hosting some huge St Paddy's Day "Keggs & Eggs" thing. It was a live radio broadcast from some place where there were bands and such. I would usually change the station to hear some news, but they mentioned that "Dirt Woman" from Richmond, VA was about to appear. I perked my ears..I was like holy emu doo doo, DIRT WOMAN!!?? (according to the website ... "Kegs and Eggs 5 at Lulu’s! Join us for all of our Kegs and Eggs guests including Carbon Leaf, Hoobastank, star of the upcoming movie “Walking Tall” - The Rock, Sam Solovey of The Apprentice, Brandon Noble of The Redskins, The Redskin Cheerleaders, The Irish Step Dancers, Comic/Hypnotist Flip Orley, Dirt Woman, Mike the Bagpiper, and more…. ")

Usure how to describe the phenomenon of "Dirt Woman". I can less than aptly describe remotely what he is or is about...but the cult of his popularity is a very obscure in Richmond, VA. He/She is a legend. More on this later...

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Reality TV. Oh barf. I think I've weened myself from watching almost all television because of the proliferation and rampant infestation of reality tv shows. They are all basically the same...hold the same premise...stupid american people who are seemingly starved for attention will do anything for money and vanity ...and the audience of stupid american viewers who are seemingly starved for more reality tv who voluntarilly ellect to be voyeurs. I equate this like two dogs chasing each other in a circle sniffing brown holes. What's even more annoying than reality tv shows is the PEOPLE who TALK about reality tv shows. SO, as a result I no longer watch tv......NOW I cannot escape a casual watercooler discussion at work without hearing about so and so did what on such and such on whatevvah reality tv show. I think I heard recently that there are currently 48 different reality tv shows. Eventually this soon too shall pass I hope....but not before they all merge into one huge ass conglomerate meglomaniacle spectacle that is a Reality based Dating game show where you are all living together eating bugs, getting fat....and then having a miracle makeover performed by your gay millionaire husband who is a priest.

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For some odd reason, I have been in a prankster mood lately. Unsure why this is. It comes in phases. At home, with friends, parents....anyone. A few nights ago, I was watching a DVD with my parents. After the movie was over, and my mom put the DVD back in the Blockbuster case for return - I said.... "Mom!...how rude...why would you return a DVD back to Blockbuster without rewinding it!!??" She looked at me real serious and was about to take the DVD out of the case and put it back into the player to "rewind" it....and then realized..."oh sheesh".

At work, we've all been playing pranks. It was discovered in route to an offsite meeting that my boss's car had an expired inspection sticker. We said to him "You need to get this inspected...or you'll get a ticket...." He laffed and was like "I'll get it inspected tomorrow.." Two weeks later, in the same car...going to another offsite meeting, we noticed that he had not had it inspected. We warned him again that he was going get a ticket. He shrugged it off. That afternoon after we came back to the office....we concocted a realistic parking ticket in Photoshop, printed it out...filled it out and then placed it on his car. Suffice to say, he was angry..then mad..then laffed.......then had his car inspected. Another floating joke around the office is to redirect any incoming wrong number phone calls to a certain individual.

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Even though it was colder than a witches' tit, I went on a bike ride this afternoon. Had to break in my new MTB shorts. They seem silly. they look like a regular pair of khaki cargo pant shorts...with a 'break-away' liner (which is basically a set of lycra bike shorts with the padded crotch). I always feel silly wearing biking shorts...because I feel like I'm wearing a huge maxi pad between my legs. I'm hoping that biking will work like physical therapy on my knees. I've been experiencing horrible knee pains in my left knee lately (probably from an old injury). I had knee surgery on my right knee years ago. I'd like to avoid surgery on my left knee....so PT seems to be the first line of defense.

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People have asked me what does the title of your blog mean. Well, simple. i got "the other right hand" from when someone says something like "take right a turn here...um no...your OTHER right" (meaning take a left turn). And "The sound of one hand clapping"

"The rational person can dismiss the koan quickly by stating that clapping, by definition, is two hands coming together; therefore, one hand cannot clap and there is no sound. The impatient rational approach fails to appreciate the uncertainties and ambiguities involved in language. A curious and open mind is attracted to the idea of one hand clapping and may enjoy hours of meditation on the peculiarities of languages, images of hands in motion and sounds in nature. Consciousness cannot be constrained by definition, cannot be captured by description and cannot be limited by measurement."

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